Monte

My darling husband lost his fight with cancer Wednesday night. He did it on his terms. Monte was adamit that he would not die at home and he did not. Wednesday morning was a repeat of Tuesday morning where he was in quite a lot of pain and was restless. He could still walk although he had to hold on to either Michelle, his daughter or I to walk down the hall to either our bedroom or to the bathroom. He said a few times that he couldn't keep doing this and he needed out of our house and into the hospital. We thought he just needed better pain medication that he could get in the hospital. It took all afternoon but finally we got the all clear to take him to a hospital that had an available hospice bed. We ended up calling the police department to get help to get him out of the house and into Michelle's car. Monte stayed alert for the 45 minute trip to the hospital and it took just as much effort to him out of her car as it did to get him in. Michelle and I thought Monte would be admitted and I would bring our son, Nick up to see Daddy the next day as it would probably take a while to get him settled into a room. Michelle called me a few times with some updates. At this point they had only been there about 20 minutes. Then she called me and said hurry up and come I don't think he is going to make it. I didn't get a chance to do anything before she called back and said she thought he would be gone before I could get there so she wanted me to say goodbye right then. Both Nick and I told him how much we loved him and hung up. After getting held up by a train for 20 minutes plus the journey time Nick and I arrived at the hospital but it was too late. He died less then a minute after we said our goodbyes.

I know my husband did not want our 8 year old son to see him die but I never dreamed he would leave without me by his side. I know he is no longer in pain and he is in a far better place I just wish his dying didn't break my heart so much. I know I will go on and lead my life because I have to as we have a child. I just didn't have enough time with him. March 1st would have been our 5th wedding anniversary and March 17th would have been the 17th anniversary of our first official date but I wanted more time. We as a couple just clicked. No fighting, just time spent apart due to his job as a truck driver. I couldn't have asked for a better husband. Yes, I missed him being gone from home so much but he was providing for our family. He stepped up when I could no longer work and he would cook and clean even after being exhausted from his job. When I would try to do something he would tell me no he would do it. It was because he cared enough to do my chores too. I am going to miss his smile, his sense of humor, his hugs and kisses and most of all just him being here.

My Prince Charming

June 13, 1950 to December 10, 2014

Forever in my heart

I love you!