My Life

My little monkey recently turned eight. His party was both happy and sad. We were not able to give him the birthday we wanted to due to finances. Yes, I know everyone can have financial problems every now and then. Our problem is that isn't going to get better. Life just got a whole lot tougher.

In April my husband went in for the first of two cataract surgeries and all went well. In May he had the second operation and if it wasn't the same day it was the next day he started having some problems. We honestly thought it was going to be something minor like a problem with the eye medication and his diabetes or his other medcations. Hubby continued to work and provide for the family. Then comes the holiday weekend and my strong husband is struggling to get anything he planned on doing done. Finally, he consents to go to the hospital. Little did we know what was in store for us. CANCER! There I said it. More than one kind and stage 4. There are still many more tests to be run and all kinds of other stuff. We have no idea how long he has to live. We have only been told it is treatable. There is no cure for liver cancer. Wait this gets better - my husband's job has no disability and our medical coverage could be cut off at any time including immediately depending on what the doctors tell us. We can apply for state help with a waiting period of 30-90 days and the kicker is for healthcare normally you get an awnser in 45 days unless you are sick then it is 90 days. Gotta love the government. 

Now if all this wasn't bad enough I had my Social Security hearing. My second one. My first one back in 2010 was denied even though the occupational therapist said there was not one job I could do with my medical problems. That judge went so far as to tell me how I should have felt having one of my procedures done. Really, I didn't know that judge was inside my body the day of the test - creepy. This new judge looks at me and tells me I don't look like I am in pain. I was doing all I could to be cool, calm and collected and my pain level was an 8. Then this occupational therapist says there is one job I can do. I have more wrong with me now then back in 2010 so how did I go from not being able to do any job to being able to do one? Since this was a video conference the judge did not see what happened after the hearing was over when I could barely stand up, I struggled to walk the 40 feet out of that hearing room to the waiting room where I collapsed into a chair and my husband wondered how we were going to make it out the building and to someplace I could sit while he walked several blocks to get our car. Seems that in some county in one state the judge and lawyers had a racket going on and kick backs were made to approve claims. I am not a faker. I have struggled with chronic pain since 1999. I worked until 2009 and I would love to be able to work even now but that is now longer an option for me. 

I only have one request from the man upstairs. I know we aren't supposed to be given more than we can handle but I really can't handle being homeless again, I don't want to be a widow raising a little boy all alone who needs his father so please can you not find someone else to shoulder this burden?